Monday, March 3, 2014

There's adventure... and then there's speed dating.

From caving, to skydiving, to a one-way ticket abroad. From my desperate attempts at making friends, to the time I planned trips around the world with complete strangers. It's all been quite the adventure, but nothing compares to the time (ok, last sunday) that I went speed dating.

It all started with a typical, hungover Sunday sesh at a beautiful rooftop bar downtown. The weather was sunny, the food was plentiful, and the Jerrica was a hungover hot mess. For those who don't know, sunday sesh is a popular Sunday tradition in Australia, in which people listen to music, socialize with friends, and mostly just drink heavily. It's pretty similar to a typical American Sunday funday, except the women are tall and thin, with skin tight dresses and 5 inch heels. They look like they're going out on a Saturday night in NYC, while I'm barely rolled out of bed with my hair brushed. I dig the hot mess Sunday Wisconsin look though, and I'm sticking to it, damn it.

But anyway.

I'm sitting with friends, listening to live music, and stuffing my face with pizza, per usual. A lady approaches and asks us outright if we're single. And before I go on my pro-single rant, I retract and wonder, is she hitting on us? Is she asking for a friend? What is going on here.

Whatever it is, I'm sure to hate it.

I reluctantly say yes, not knowing exactly what I'm getting myself into, and immediately feel regret when I find out why. Some girls dropped out of speed dating, and she desperately needed to fill the spots. I laughed out loud, and said in the sweetest way I knew how, "HELL NO".

But it was our friend Tara's last day in Australia and she thought it'd be fun. That and there was a promise of free food and booze, so how bad could it be? And the next thing I know, I'm writing down my email and putting on a name tag, ready to make things real awkward for these poor unsuspecting souls.

Let me start by saying that I HATE dates. Literally hate them. Unless we've been casually hanging out for 17 months, or I've been in love with you for 3 years, I would rather do almost anything than go on a date with a stranger. In fact, the last 'first date' I went on was with my most recent boyfriend in May of 2008, just to put things into perspective. And I couldn't help but laugh knowing that my first, first date in nearly 6 years was going to be with 10 different men in the span of an hour. Awkwarddddd.

Speed dating was a whole different ball game though, and I was ready to play.

The first guy got out his notepad, looked me up and down and said, "I'm going to call you legs". Oh dear lord. Here we go. He then proceeds to ask me a series of creepy questions, "dinner or dessert?", "speed or safety?", and I could no longer contain myself as I choked on some water. um... please. just stop. No worries though, I could tell I quickly killed the romance, when I heard from a friend that next to my name he wrote, "NOT looking for a boyfriend".

I think I made myself clear. "Love, Legs".

Here's a look at the potential bachelors. What name goes best with Jerrica? Sean? Ryan? or Desperate 1, 2, or 3? Please notice the blanks next to ALL of them under the "What you thought" category.

Normally though, I was pretty sweet. As sweet as I could be for putting up with men who just paid $50 to spend go on 10 minute dates with me and 9 other girls (3 of which were my friends by the way). But when you ask the favorite animal question, I have to laugh and respond with "platypus", because it's the only off the wall answer I can think of on the spot.

And when you ask me what my favorite flower is, I will tell you pretty bluntly that I'd rather be eating Mexican food, than pretending to be happy about your lame attempt at fishing for romance.

The truth is though, it was a pretty hilarious attempt at putting myself out there again. And although, I'd never consider finding the love of my life in a crowd of desperate men aged 23-37 who paid for the charade, the men were mostly surprisingly not that terrible. AND it was a pretty funny Perth adventure, especially for just another casual Sunday.
Next time I'm looking for an adventure though, I think I'll try bungee jumping instead.

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