Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Why being "too busy" will kill you

The one phrase that absolutely kills me: "I'm too busy". 

Wait a minute.. you're too busy? too busy for what? friendship? love? family? traveling? oh.. well that's pretty sad in my opinion. Next time you move 10,000 miles away and don't know a soul, I will keep that in mind when you're seeking a little comfort and love from home. Please tell me again how difficult your life is. 

Now now.. I know what you're thinking. But I AM too busy. And this may be true for most, if not all of you. I get that. I've been there. But I'd like to think that I ALWAYS made time for the things and the ones I loved no matter how busy I was with other useless things. No, school and work aren't useless. Of course not. I'd be nowhere without those two things. BUT in the grand scheme of things, they mean nothing when not accompanied too by people, things, and experiences you love. The sad reality is that busy schedules will NEVER go away. In fact, as many of you know, they just get worse as you get older. So stop letting that be your reality and instead choose to: 

- Make an effort for the ones you love. You HAVE to find a way to do it. Even if it means delaying your addiction to "The Bachelor" or whatever other embarrassing ABC guilty pleasure you may have. Trust me. I suffer from it too. But I never choose it over spending time seeing or talking to real people.
-  A 10 minute phone conversation or a 20 minute chat on facebook can go a long way. Especially when you've just moved across the world. hint hint.
- Technology makes it farrrr too easy to keep in contact with people. So... I'm calling bullshit on your "too busy" excuse. facebook, twitter, email, texting, snapchat, whatsapp, skype, facetime. Need I say more?
- Find the time to really connect with the people you're with. What does this mean? It starts with putting away your damn phone when we're having a face to face conversation. Believe it or not kids.. there was a time when those beloved text messages could wait. Focus on the ones in front of you. Unless you're getting a 911 emergency text from your overly concerned mother, your best friend in labor, or your babysitter, the person in front of you should be your only concern in that given moment. 
- Call your friends. For no reason. Just to see how they're doing. And listen. Really, truly listen. 
- Make plans to see each other and follow through with them. Never EVER say "Let's get together soon" if you have no intention of doing so. 
- Don't let one friend always be the one who makes the plans (I'm that friend.. and I'm burnt out from it). Have some initiative and take the lead from time to time. No one likes a follower.
- Let go of those who have let go of you. 
- Hold on like hell to those who haven't.
- Find your sense of purpose. Mindless tv watching after work does nothing for you aside from providing entertainment, and that's okay sometimes. However, a better alternative would be to:  
   - go for a walk
   - read
   - write
   - catch up with friends
   - plan a trip
   - volunteer

In the end it's all about balance. Being "too busy" will not only kill your body, but will also kill your spirit. Give yourself enough fulfilling things to do without letting mildly important things like school and work crush, consume and control your life. Those things have no personality, no soul, and give you absolutely no love or consideration in return. Friends do that. Families do that. PEOPLE do that. Remember the key to living a happy and fulfilled life is having time and people to spend it with. Don't forget it!


  1. Absolutely true. Thank you.

  2. You're right, Jerrica; it's definitely too easy to put the ones we love on hold, and yes, technology does make it easier to connect. Still though, sometimes it's necessary to pull back and be with myself. I think, after reading your post, that it might be best to let my loved ones know when I'm needing space so they don't think I'm upset at them!


    1. Oh I completely agree! I need a lot of time to myself to decompress and get lost in my thoughts. Can you tell I have a lot of them? Haha! Always good to have that alone time, just be sure to keep your loved ones in mind as well :). Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. Hi Jerrica, I'm from Singapore and I stumbled upon your blog while reading todaywasmeaningful.wordpress.com

    I used to be exactly like the person you described in the beginning of your post, I was always too busy because my work required me to put in crazy hours. I was young(er), was becoming successful and had to gradually stop my passions (thankfully only for awhile) as I pursued my career. I didn't bat an eyelid or thought nothing of it whenever I said I was too busy and slowly I was losing focus, energy and my happiness.

    I am nowhere near being happy as I want to, but I am slowly getting back to doing what I enjoy the most- dancing, reading, making time for myself, friends and family.

    Thank you for sharing this! :)

    Warmest Regards,

    1. Thank you so much for reading! I've heard nothing but good things about Singapore and I can't wait to visit!

      Yes, unfortunately it takes a wake up call at some point in our lives to realize what is truly important. I'm hoping that this post will help some of us get to that wake up call a little bit sooner.

      So glad to hear you are taking time to enjoy the things that make you happy again. It will do wonders for your heart and soul, I promise you.

      Thanks for reading and commenting. Means the world to me!

      Best of luck and keep doing the things that make you smile :)!