Saturday, September 7, 2013

It's simple: Act like a Man

There are many characteristics we inherently possess simply by being born as one sex or the other. There are also many that form from the way we've been conditioned throughout our lives. A lot of who we are is the result of how we were raised of course, but in the even bigger picture, who we are results from the way we've been molded by society. See, society expects things from us from birth based solely on our sex. So much so in fact, that our first question after a baby is born? "Is it a boy or a girl?!?!" Not... "Is the baby healthy?" "How is mom doing?" etc. Don't worry though, everybody does it. And once we find out, we subconsciously assign gender roles accordingly. As one of the many examples, crying little boys are often taught to toughen up, while little girls are usually coddled and told "everything will be okay". And how does this affect our adult lives, you ask? Men become assholes, and women become emotional hot messes.

Pretty bold statement eh? (pun very much intended). But just hear me out. In my 25 years of life, I have learned many important things, many unimportant things, and many life changing things. Now, aside from 17 years of school lessons, 10 years of relationship lessons, and a stream of random life lessons along the way, I've learned that the key to getting ahead in work, relationships, and life is simple. Act like a lady man, think like a man.

Believe me, as a woman, I hate to admit this too. BUT the majority of men really do have some (key word here) things right simply by being an asshole, emotionless, rational, selfish, condescending and/or disrespectful. And the special place for all of you who don't fall into that category? Either married, because you're the catch of the lifetime, or living in that special place no single guy ever wants to be: In the friendzone. Does this make me sound bitter? Probably. But really men. I get it now. I understand why you are the way you are. Being that way assures that you live life relatively unscathed, and I think we could all benefit from less pain and more happiness, don't you?

Yes, I realize I'm making A TON of assumptions here and that MANY people don't fall into either category. So before I get hundreds of replies about how you're not a total jerk, or you're not an emotional crazy, let's pretend for the sake of this blog entry, that you are. And if we're being totally honest... I'm sure there's at least a part of 90% of you who fit quite perfectly into your given gender role. BUT before I start any more trouble, here's how acting like a man has benefitted me and here's how it can benefit you:

- Be an asshole sometimes. You won't get anywhere by letting people walk all over you.
- Keep your emotions and feelings in check at all times. Better yet... don't have emotions or feelings at all.
- Never EVER love somebody that doesn't love you. Move across the world if you have to ;).
- Keep your walls up until somebody proves they deserve you and all that you have to offer.
- Be on guard. At all times. People will bullshit you as a way to get something they so selfishly want.   Don't fall for it.
- Be realistic. Optimism and pessimism will truly get you nowhere. Life isn't always rainbows and butterflies, but it's no hell on earth either. Accept the ups and downs as a normal part of life and move on.
- Be selfish. It's up to YOU to make things happen. Don't let anything or anyone get in your way.
- Never rely on anyone to fuel your own happiness. People can take it away at any time, and you need to learn to handle life on your own.
- Be in control of everything that you can control. Your time, your money, your body, your relationships, etc.
- Don't stress over things you can't change. Women are worriers by nature. Men are not. And men definitely have it right in this case. 
- Be very clear in stating how you feel. Keep in mind that like the rest of us, men aren't mind readers. And frankly, most of them are idiots. Ever notice how when a man first tells you he loves you, he simply says, "I love you".  If you're a smart woman, you would wait for those words before making any move, and before falling in love in general (see above). But if you're a hopeless romantic and ehem.. an emotional crazy.. your grand scheme of a 5 page well written letter will undoubtedly fail horribly. Say it with me ladies. "I love you". "I L-O-V-E Y-O-U". That's how you speak like a man (and that's definitely how you speak TO a man). Spell everything out for them. letter. by. letter. Keep everything as simple and as mindless as possible. They might actually catch on if you choose that route.

Now ladies, of course I love that you put your heart and soul into everything you do. I love that you're inherently nurturing, selfless, and that you just spent over $150 and 3 hours of your life at the salon just to be told, "No, I don't notice anything different babe... what is it?" But the harsh reality is that we should all be used to people letting us down, feeding us bullshit, walking all over us, and being reckless with our feelings. The way we handle those situations is the only difference here. Acting like a lady will leave you crushed, devastated, and alone. Acting like a man will leave you happy, independent, and ready conquer the world. Who do you want to be?


  1. All of what you said is very true, I too, learned that 'acting like a man' were very good & useful qualities to have and live by. Esp in my early 20's. Simply to keep myself from being hurt, used, etc.

    The really great thing is that when you find the 'right' man, the one who gives as much as you do, and truly loves you back, you will then be free to 'act like a lady' again, because he will appreciate and admire you for that quality also :)

  2. Thank you mystery person. Always good to be strong, rational, and independent. But I agree. There are definite qualities that only the right person can bring out of you. Looking forward to that one day. Thank you again. I appreciate it :)!!

  3. A really nice read! Hmm, but isn't it tough to act like a man when my own boyfriend treats me like shit. I am going through a hard time ...and I try to act the same way he does to me, but I feel its so rude and heartless. Yes, a man can be so heartless at times. And I just don't want to be one of it. :-(

    1. LEAVE! don't put up with anyone who treats with anything but with love and respect. You don't deserve to be with someone who doesn't appreciate you and all that you have to offer. I've done that for the last 10 years of my life, and believe me, you're much better off on your own. Read my other blog entries-- from before I left til now. You'll see how much happier I am after gaining my independence and freedom. You can do it!! Email me if you need to! Best of luck!

  4. Really enjoyed viewing your blog! Found yours off of another blog and I am so glad I checked out your stuff. Very proud of you for quitting the "safe" routine and taking a risk. That is what life is allllll about! If you'd like to check out my blog, it's Hopefully I can inspire you the way you've inspired me! Happy blogging xo.

    1. thanks a lot for reading Stephanie! I will definitely check yours out as soon as I get the next free chance. I can already tell by the name that I think I'll enjoy it :)